To whoever is reading. To whoever cares. I sent my submission to an agent who requested to see my first three chapters 12 days ago. Their automatic email response states that if I don’t hear back within 6 weeks, just assume material is not right for their agency.
Well I haven’t heard yet. It’s heart wrenching. All of my hard work, and if the agent just glances over it, or doesn’t even read it because of the garbled condition the internet sent it in, I am doomed.
What else can I do? I can’t call and say, oh, my submission got garbled, can I send it again? They don’t want you to call. So I sent a better one anyway. But what if she read the garbled one first and ignores any subsequent emails with the same subject heading.
I am a strong believer in if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be.
No matter what, my book will get published. There’s no way I’m going to have worked my brain, my intense creativity and imagination, my fingers, and used up all this time, and put in all this hope, and just stuff it in a trunk somewhere because no one wants to take it on. I will publish it myself, if I have to. But that’s my last resort. I’m willing to polish and resubmit over a period of years (I’m thinking two years at the most). I’m going to give it my all. I won’t give up.
So in the meantime. Thirty days left. Usually the way this works in my world, is you check and check and check and check, and then that day goes by. Doom!
I try to predict Murphy’s Law: should I hope so much so so so much and then it’ll happen (because I had faith and didn’t give up)? or should I have no faith at all, expect the worst and then, surprise!!!!!!!!!!!!!! — what I thought wouldn’t happen does (because I thought it wouldn’t). Forget it, I’ll just pray. But Jesus said, ‘God knows what your needs are…’ I guess I’d really just be pleading my case.
It is my first submission. In thirty days I could be facing my first rejection. A familiar experience, I hear. I don’t want to “join the club”. I doubt if I get much sympathy from others. I already know not to expect that. In other words, who am I to think I am so special that I would get accepted on my first submission. Everyone gets rejected, don’t they?
Yeah? Well, I never did fit any mold. I was never part of the ‘Cuh LUB’. I was often the odd one out. So why should this be any different?
Regardless of what happens, this is a journey for me. It’s my life. Hey, I’m just living it… no one could ever say I didn’t try.
Still with some hope I won’t have to write an acceptance (Er, I mean rejection) speech,
WoRd of ThE daY
Etymology:L or Middle French; Middle French, from Latin petulant-, petulans; akin to Latin petere to go to, attack, seek— more at FEATHER
1 : insolent or rude in speech or behavior
2 : characterized by temporary or capricious ill humor : PEEVISH
-info provided by Merriam Webster Collegiate Dictionary