Just Something . . . But Really Nothing

Absolutely nothing...

I’m sitting here with my legs stretched out, have been in this same spot all day – surfing the web, sleeping, watching television, eating.  This is after a week of rigorous routine, up at 4 am – either to the gym or up doing work.  Then rushing to get ready for a 12 hour day at work.  Rush to get home, feed and clean up after my pets, then about an hour of free time until I collapse into a sleep from sheer exhaustion.  Every evening I feel the agonizing plea of my body to let it rest, it’s a painful feeling, so I give up the struggle to have an extra hour of wakefulness to do something for myself – like write and instead I sleep, it’s rest for my body as it recovers.  I’ve always known that the body has to recover.  Fortunately, I don’t have insomnia.  I can’t imagine what that’s like.

So, today I was good to my body.  Whereas I would have ordinarily gotten up to go to the gym, and spent almost two hours doing cardio and weight training.  I kept my ass in bed.  Who would ever think that is healthier?  I rebelled today.  Forget routine  – the routine I created to balance myself for survival’s sake.  It’s what is supposed to work best for me at this time in my life.

As you can probably guess, I don’t have a spouse or children.  Oh God, he must have known.  Like they say, God never gives you more than he thinks you can handle.  There’s no way I could raise children.  As much as I wanted them, the person I am at this time could not do it.  I would be a different person totally if I had a spouse and children.  Sometimes I wish I had them, but those thoughts are fleeting at best.

Somehow, I will create a new balance.  But in order to do that I must be more commanding over people as well as myself.  I know that my day is so long because I allow people to command my time.  If they want to talk to me, although I have a lot of work to do, I let them.  Because I don’t want to be rude.  They are happy and jolly and chatty, and… I don’t want to burst their bubble.  But, I end up paying the price at the end of the day.  Sometimes it’s me that’s being chatty, it’s like a break for me, but then I leave work late.  So…, I am going to create that new balance.  It’s gonna mean keeping a hold on the steering wheel and leaving the engine running and not park it to let other people waste my time.  I gotta be a bit antisocial, all for the sake of getting out on time.

All so that later on I can write.



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2 Responses »

  1. As my Mountaineers say: The most important in life is the balance between earning a lot of money, success, having family, loving others, our spirituality, health, etc… I haven’t achieved that balance yet, but will try in the future :).
    Nice blog! Interesting posts! Thank you liking mine too! I guess a suggestion of mine would be welcome? How about using sites like zazzle.com, caffepress.com, fiverr, etc? They could be a good way for promotion and “removing” stupidity in streets like headlines on t-shirts, fridge magnets, cups, etc. of the kind My Boyfriend kisses better than yours, FBI – Female Body Inspector, etc… Every author could use some good, wise quotes from his/her works, some poems, illustrations, etc. I’m allanbard there, I use some of my quotes, illustrations, poems, like: One can fight money only with money, Even in the hottest fire there’s a bit of water, All the problems in the world lead to one – narrow-minded people, Money are amongst the last things that make people rich, or
    Love and happiness will be around,
    as all the chains will disappear!
    And Mountaineers will climb their mount,
    and there won’t be any tear!
    Hope such lines sound and look better than the usual? Keep up the good work! ! LET THE WONDERFUL NOISE OF THE SEA ALWAYS SOUNDS IN YOUR EARS! (a greeting of the water dragons’ hunters – my Tale Of The Rock Pieces).

  2. It’s difficult to balance all those things, it would be a constant battle, because things are forever changing, sometimes expectedly, sometimes unexpectedly. Especially the lots of money. The more money, the more problems, and the more money you have, the more money you’ll need, and probably the less happiness you have. I agree about family, health, and spirituality, and I would add doing something (anything) to help others.

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Writing Goals

My First Completed EbookNovember 11th, 2013
I will put my first Ebook on Amazon

The Background: Swamp Scene in Avoyelles Parish

The scene is a swamp in Louisiana, my home state. It is also the setting of my beloved story that I will finish one day, even if I have to take it up to Heaven in a folder with a pen. God would say, "you're still carrying around that thing?" I would nod my head and give him a humble blink, my pen and paper in hand. He would then ask, "so how are you going to get it to your audience when you're done?" I would gulp and give him another humble blink. Then I'd look down at my work and a grin would grow on my face . . . (you won't get it until after you read my book, once I do finish it. . .)
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